Skip to main content

Life through the eyes of a backbencher

EIt’s a given fact that most people sleep in class. The frontbenchers do it with their eyes wide open and the back benchers with their eyes wide shut. No prizes for guessing who gets caught.

Hunger strikes you at the most inappropriate situations. As a frontbencher, you are subject to minutes of acute starvation. Dry chapattis and soggy chips never tasted better. Only a back bencher would know.

You strain to see the blackboard and hear what the teacher is saying. A lot of it never made sense, never has and probably never will. As a result, I can listen to music only at extremely high decibel levels and at some point of time have ended up with glasses. These are the sacrifices I have made to be a back bencher.


At times lightning strikes you suddenly and they say “I want to check your book.” The frontbenchers cringe that their notes are not complete. A black mark on their otherwise illustrious record. The back benchers are the ones with sense. Their record remains impeccable and their notes complete. We have all the time in the world to complete leftover work (food included.) Stress management is a myth. The key is to be last in line. That way, you see more, learn more and sleep more. That’s what they teach you in stress management anyway.

I was a back bencher all my life. The sad thing in a workplace is that you are seated in cubicles. If you don’t do work, you are fired. You don’t have the backbench to fall back upon. But all through the occasional moments of paying attention I realized one eternal truth. 

The frontbenchers took notes, got high marks, got good jobs, took orders and went ahead in life. The others created revolutions to ward off the boredom. They were the back benchers.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When an Iyer met an Iyengar

If you see my parents, they look like the quintessential arranged marriage couple. After nearly 35 years together, they still take care not to touch each other while posing for a photograph and my mother’s smile dangles precariously between a smile and a grimace. But this image discolours the truth a tad. Some 40 years back, they met at work, fell in love and got married. The talking point of the union being mom’s status as an iyengar and dad’s as an iyer. Simply put, the iyers and the iyengars are two castes of the Brahmin community, each, when given the chance, profess superiority to each other on all counts. If you listen closely, an Iyengar talking about an Iyer will say ‘Iyer a?’ in a condescending tone. And vice versa. Mom tells me that when she told her dad about the marriage, he vowed to stand by her at any cost. Dad never told me what happened, but allow me to hazard a guess. His mother (my grandmother), threatened to go on a fast unto death. My dad threatened to go ...

The sculptor and the stone cutter

  A story is told of two bricklayers laying brick on an afternoon when one wished the sun would scurry back behind the clouds and offer a smattering of respite. This very ordinary scene caused curiosity to get the better of a passerby in search of conversation. As the story goes, a question was posed to each as to what they were building. One replied he was merely laying brick. The other said he was laying the foundation for a cathedral. Ostensibly, the purpose of this story being recounted time and again is to get us to look at dreary tasks with a sense of reverence. And maybe, just maybe, they can turn into a masterpiece. Maybe this zealous approach is the distinction between the humdrum existence of a journeyman and that of an enchanter, who in Jack Kerouac’s words, makes everybody go ‘aaawww’. Which is why there are such few masterpieces, be it a song, a book, a movie, or a sportsperson making the field his stage, keeping an audience of a million glued to...

Why there are no Iyer Bakeries

Note: This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. If you are still hell bent on taking offence, no one can help you. Happy reading. Cast of characters 1. Seshadri Iyengar - an ageing Iyengar with a penchant for cooking. 2. Vasu - Seshadri Iyengar's good for nothing son. 3. Mohini - Seshadri Iyengar's wife  3. Mani Iyer - Seshadri Iyengar's once-upon-time bosom buddy.  4. Kalyani - Mani Iyer's pretty daughter.  5. Leelavathi - Mani Iyer's wife 6. Muttal - the local astrologer  Old age and infirmity hadn't yet robbed Seshadri Iyengar of his independence, but his idiotic son Vasu Iyengar had robbed him of his peace of mind. Always claiming to be between jobs, Vasu was besotted by his neighbour's daughter, Kalyani. She was pretty, diminutive, and sang the raga  Sindhu Bhairavi  without missing a note. Named after her father's favourite raga, Kalyani, her idea of rebellion was to choose a...