I read a quote sometime back that went something like this - "Jealously is how much fun you think they had." At some point in the evolution of social media, quality of life began to be measured by a person's social media feed. And you think that person must be having the time of their life. No dull moment. No faux pas. Every moment so tailor-made to create a thing of beauty. You will be misled into thinking that people were waking up daily to a view so beautiful that it seemed right out of a tourism guide and that every meal was a Michelin rated gourmet style offering.
If life were like an instagram feed, the day would begin on a cottage in the hills, a selfie with the morning mist in the background. Breakfast wouldn't be poha, idli, sambhar or anything that bears resemblance to the ordinary or everyday. It will be crepes with chocolate sauce, some orange juice, french toast with a side of bacon and waffles with maple syrup. You could use the filter 'Rise' for best effects.
The photo friendly breakfast will be followed up by a road trip to the beach. The clouds will form a design to look like a Van Gogh painting. The weather will be near perfect, if not, even out the rough edges with the filter 'Sierra.' On the way, you will stop by a pristine stream that isn't polluted by effluents and soap water. If you're lucky, the shot will look like the sun's rays are dancing off the surface of the water.
Some pictures speak a thousand likes.
After the eventful road trip, peppered by shots of flowers in bloom and the shapes of clouds to add more meat to the outdoor aspect, the beach inches closer.
The beach will be as clean as the ones we used to see in Baywatch. With a couple of beer bottles in tow, you set out to embrace the UV rays. Entrench the beer bottles into the sand and pose for a picture that makes it look like you spent the entire morning with the waves caressing your feet as you chugged down some cool ale while in reality, the beer was warm and you endured a flat tyre on the way.
Lunch is an elaborate spread of sea food delicacies - crab, pomphret, lobster, all chugged down with some more cool beer. A foodstagrammer's wet dream. The sumptuous meal is followed by an attempted reading of the latest bestseller as you rest on a deck chair. Click a photo of the book with the beach in the background.
As the afternoon melts away, it's time to head back and capture shots of a spectacular sunset atop a hill. You ascend just as the sun's rays are clawing back from the face of the earth. The seafood and the beer have slowed down your gait and the perfect sunset slips through your fingers. But all is not lost. Use the filter 'Amaro' to resurrect the almost lost opportunity and make it look like you managed to capture the perfect shot, much to the awe of your followers.
But the day is far from over, least of all for your instagram feed.
The night throws up interesting possibilities - a nice gourmet dinner or letting your hair down at a club. Then you think that the food porn needs a rest and choose the club. A quick change of clothes ensues and you enter the club. Just as you enter, you click a groupfie to rub it in the face of all your unlukcy buddies who are presumably sitting at home watching Game of Thrones that they have downloaded from Torrentz.
After all the sweat has been expended in the club, it's time to call it a day.
But not before a stop for ice-cream - vanilla ice-cream and brownies topped with chocolate sauce. It's the icing on the cake for your day and more importantly, for your instagram feed.
If someone saw your instagram feed, they would think your existence was devoid of boredom. They will see you living it up with your buddies but won't see you sitting across them in a pub, whatsapping your other buddies to check what they're up to. They will see you having shots on a Friday night with your fellow slaves at work, but won't see you trudge through your dead-end job for 60 hours a week.
If only life allowed you to crop out all the bad stuff and make the good times last really long.
Excuse me as I need to go and upload a picture of the sunset I took from my office terrace.
P.S. - I love social media, including instagram and try not to check every 5 minutes to see if my latest upload has got a like.